Humor: Who Moved My MonaVie… or the next Amway Diamond to pull a Woodward
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction.
While reading about Amway Diamonds who have moved over to MonaVie, I got to wondering who might be going next. For a hint at my guess, can you spot the Amway Diamond among the five MonaVie Diamonds shown in the photo on the right?
- Calvin Becerra, Youngest Black Diamond in MonaVie history. Reached it in 8 months.
- Rudy De Leon, Reached Hawaiian Blue Diamond Executive in less than 7 months.
- Jeff Creamer, Reached Hawaiian Blue Diamond Executive in less than 7 months.
- Bryan Mataya, Reached Blue Diamond in less than 6 months.
Update: Rudy, Jeff, and Bryan have left MonaVie to join Xowii.
Somewhere, Orrin Woodward is laughing at these guys, “Who’s your Daddy! I made friggin Black Diamond in what, three months?!?”
Kidding aside, Calvin, Rudy, Jeff, Bryan, and Kelly are young males living in the Southern California and have all quickly reached high levels in MonaVie. Like Diamonds in Amway and Quixtar, they have their own motivational and training system — the Kelly Bangert System — to help their downline succeed. The Forbe’s article on Woodward claims he has 60,000 “mostly middle-class members” in his team. While MonaVie certainly has its slice of this demographic, I’m guessing those in Kelly, Calvin, Rudy, Jeff, and Bryan’s teams cater to younger men and women in the 20-35 age range.
Because of that, my bet is the next Diamond to jump ship to MonaVie will also come from that group. I began sifting through the hundreds of people that are (1) in that age range, (2) crossed stage at least once as Amway Diamonds and (3) are not in jail. While there are certainly a number of well-qualified people to choose from, one name stood out:
World Wide Dreambuilders very own Executive Diamond Dean Kosage!
According to his bio on WWDB, Dean’s got some big dreams:
… making movies, funding music studios, taking adventures, playing in Barcelona Spain and sitting on the fan tail of a yacht in Monte Carlo.
If Dean really wants to make movies — and I’m not counting his YouTube videos — he first needs to sell his house in Washington ASAP and move down to Southern California where all the action is at. Next, Dean is going to need a little bit more money than he can earn by selling XS for two bucks a can and CDs for $8 apiece if he wants to achieve those kinds of dreams. He needs to step it up a few notches and start selling MonaVie for $40 a bottle!
Just listen to former crossline compatriot Woodward, who states one can make substantially more income in MonaVie than in Amway. Don’t believe the Supreme TEAM Leader? Just look at the MonaVie income disclosure statement, and you can see for yourself that there’s a lot of money to be made in the juice concentrate business!
Dean shouldn’t worry about disappointing his upline/crossline WWDB friends. Greg Duncan? He has his hands full with his own drink businesses, XS and All In Energy, not to mention running WWDB. He’s so busy with his J.O.B that he won’t even notice Dean’s departure!
Think about it. Dean’s already in the under one-percent category of people who’s made it to the top of Amway… why not go for the challenge, pull a Woodward, and move his entire downline over to Mount MonaVie? He can have it all for himself. No more sharing with the Duncans, the Tsurudas, or the Wolgamotts. Hey, he probably won’t even have to pay his ex-wife a cent from his MonaVie earnings for that matter!
Dean could even start his own training and motivational organization, Dean Kosage’s System for Success, or DKSS for short! Consider the slogans, “I’m in DKSS, are you a DKSS too?” “Come join us at the next DKSS Regional!”
On second thought, maybe Dean should stick with his current WWDB slogan; he wouldn’t even have to change it when he switches to MonaVie:
“I go, you go. I went Diamond, you go Diamond.”
Orrin is waiting for you, Dean.
Update #1: XS Gold looks like it’s shaping up to be a competitior to MonaVie, so it doesn’t appear that Dean will be going anywhere for the time being. Watch out though, Dean’s got a fast car… ready for a quick getaway at any moment!
Update #2: Now that MonaVie has released MonaVie Emv, Dean has a product similar to XS and XS Gold that he can now hawk. Plus, it’s even more expensive than the drinks he’s already selling!