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Cobra Commander Was My Upline

September 10, 2008

Cobra Amway Connection

I loved reading GI:Joe comic books as a kid. At the time, I was more interested in the scenes with guns blazing and bullets flying than the ones filled with dialogue. Looking back, however, I wish I had read some of the issues more carefully; contained within the pages of GI:Joe was a premonition of my future with Amway… and Cobra?!?

Check out the photo to the right from issue #38 of GI:Joe!

Cobra Commander’s bio and background have changed over the years, but a few facts remain consistent. At one point in his life, he become involved in pyramid schemes, selling cleaning products and magazines:

The rise of COBRA began with one man. Bitter about a lifetime of failures, resentful of those who wielded power, he began a systematic revenge against the world that he believed had wronged him. He started as a small-time salesman, traveling from town to town, holding meetings in which he recruited people as disillusioned with their lives as he was with his own. His face masked by a hood, he spoke with sibilant persuasion of his twisted vision for a new global empire. A few dozen people joined him, then several dozen more. And then, his dazzling lies mesmerized the entire town of Springfield, which became the birthplace of the evil COBRA organization.

Cobra Commander soon had followers who agreed with everything he said, which only served to pump up his ego and fill the coffers of his front company, Arbco (a clever anagram of Cobra). From GI:Joe #10, Cobra Commander explains his motivation for creating Cobra:

“I’m not going to be ground under the wheels of big government!… I’m going to create an underground organization that will bypass government restrictions, and garner power through terrorism and extortion!… I won’t stop until my organization coils around the whole world like a giant cobra!”

Oh, how I wish I had learned what I was really getting myself in when I signed on the dotted line in 1997! I thought I was getting into a good, old honest business with the potential to help people’s lives and make some money for myself. Little did I know I was being brainwashed to serve the wishes and goals of Cobra Commander himself!

Notice how in GI:Joe that Cobra Commander’s main henchman are always the same people? Dr. Mindbender, Destro, Zartan, Major Bludd, the Baroness, FireFly, and Tomax and Xamot! With few exceptions, they never seem to die and keep coming back to haunt the GI:Joe team time and time again. On the other hand, the rank and file Cobra Vipers all look the same, wearing masks to conceal their identities. Crimson Guardsmen operated in secretly yet in plain sight, holding various high-level political and business positions around the world. Some even had families to give them further legitimacy as they gained more influence and power for Cobra.

Sound familiar? Look on stage at your next function. It’s invariably the same people year after year in your Amway Motivational Organization (AMO). Beneath the mask, Cobra Commander could be anyone: Jim Floor, Orrin Woodward, Greg Duncan, or Dean Kosage. The downline Diamonds? There’s your Cobra High Command. You in the audience? Vipers!

Are you being taught real business practices, or skills to help you support Amway Global at all costs as a Crimson Guardsmen? Is Zartan really teaching you prospecting skills or how to be a master of disguise and deception?

IBOs wake up to the truth! Tear off your helmet and break free from the programming of Cobra-Amway!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Mike permalink
    September 10, 2008 3:41 pm

    I have yet to hear of anything other than jabs thrown at Amway..never has it been presented in a good light..never.

    Why is that????

  2. LatinAmericanView permalink
    November 18, 2008 4:24 pm

    You have no idea how screwed we really are. I do not endorse this guy but the info is interesting

  3. March 13, 2010 1:18 am

    Funny how Cobra Commander sounds like a teabagger, isnt’ it?


  1. Joecool’s Observations « Amthrax

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