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Humor: MonaVie Jet Credits

January 13, 2009

Orrin has posted several times about the use of MonaVie’s jet credits programs for Royal Black Diamonds and above, including this week’s post. I’m taking a humorous stab at how his next post will be like.

I want to thank Dallin Larceny for his incredible programs to reward top performers in MonaVie. Laurie and I have never been treated with such dignity and respect in all of our years of building communities. Amway might have sent us for a week’s vacation to Peter Island, but Dallin gives us our own airplane to fly around the country whenever we want! I love MonaVie because (unlike Amway) they recognize that it is the distributors that build the organizations to move their world-class products. Anyone with a dream, work-ethic, persistence, and character can build it big on the MonaVie Team. There may be a recession in the economy, but there is no recession on the MonaVie Team. The Team is off to a record breaking January to start 2009! If the MonaVie Hawer 1000 and Piaggio Avanti P-180 are already booked, Dallin has an F-22 Raptor for our use. What a beautiful, powerful frightening aircraft!


Dan and Lisa Hawkins drove us to the Dane County Regional Airport on Sunday morning. They were recognized as new Triple 100’s on Saturday night! Sadly, like Mark Ludwig (Turbo 25 who missed Turbo 50 last month), the Hawkins just missed the coveted Turbo 200 goal through their binaries. Awww… too bad for Mark, Dan, and Lisa! That said, it didn’t matter if they made their goal or not, since the F-22 only seats one person! Sorry, Laurie, I’m flying solo this time! You’re taking the bus back to Florida!

Here is a photo of MonaVie’s F-22 Raptor fleet. What I love about this aircraft are the precision weaponry with which I can blow away any naysayers and critics of my business. When they see the MonaVie F-22 Raptor coming down on them, raining purple fire, they’ll beg to join my organization! “Too bad,” I’ll scream, “You had your chance!” as I press the fire button and send them sky high to join up with those Amway distributors and executives I threw under the bus last year!


Life is good on the MonaVie Team because we are building depth, building numbers and building volume through customers and distributors! I can’t wait to see what plane Dallin buys for us next! God Bless (Me), Orrin Woodward

5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 14, 2009 2:52 pm

    You are the most funny critic I have ever been reading, amthrax!! hahaha, thanks for the good laugh.

    Hey, the idea of flying in a MonaVie Raptor ain’t that bad… those 2 planes with the logo are just plain cute, hehe.

    “The most advanced civilisation is that which can laugh at itself.” : )

    On to a million.

  2. January 14, 2009 8:54 pm

    I’m glad someone found the post to be humorous.


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