What Happens at a Monthly Seminar?
It’s been awhile since I’ve attended a monthly seminar, so I’m curious to learn what all has changed (or not) in the past decade.
TEAM has its monthly seminars this weekend. Ex-TEAM members, care to take us through a timeline of what happens? I’ll update the post as the information comes in via the comments section below.
Here’s a good one from commenter dmricha:
5am – Say really really mean things to my alarm clock
5:15am – Actually get out of bed. Drink 2 ounces of Active.
5:30am – Trip over the dogs as I let another TEAM wife in the house so we can make sandwiches for the 3-4 hour trip to LA.
6am – Compare notes with the other TEAM wife about how often we got to see our husbands since they were working so hard “running the roads” and “pushing to the last minute” Soon afterwards we’ll both sigh with disappointment and talk about how this is only temporary
7:30am – Call all my leaders and make sure everyone has printed directions, enough gas, tickets, and space for people who were riding a long.
8am – Shower, Dress, Wake the husband, Force him to shower and dress
8:30am – Suck up to the babysitter and hope that she’ll never get wise to just how much I depend on her.
9am – Load up the car with the banners and other TEAM crap in case they need us to help set up
10am – Force husband into the car. Turn on a CD and drive around town picking up whoever else was riding with us. By the time we’re done the whole car is filled with people and I’m hoping I don’t kill someone before we get there.
11am – Switch cds and talk about how this bom changed my life
3pm – Get there just in time for 300 club…This used to be Step 250 meeting. To sum the whole thing up..Buy tools. Get other people to buy tools. Go to the Major and take someone with you. Oh and buy some product.
4pm – Put on a really big fake smile and pretend like I’d rather be there with them then spend time with my kids. Smile and wave to other TEAMs but never actually talk to them. That would be crosslining.
4:15pm – Parade my new people around like puppies at a dog show. Get edified as “An up and coming couple” “Great students of the system” “Fired up leaders” “truly humble servants”
5pm – The rhythmic clapping beings. Then the pledge to the flag and a prayer.
5:05pm – The host (usually a high ranking couple) come on stage promotes the system, major, and then brings out the couple speaking. The wife tells some story that nobody actually cares about .
6pm – The husband comes on and may actually teach something useful. Probably just some rant about how great Orrin is and misquotes from system books.
7pm – More rhythmic clapping. Host couple dismisses us and people swarm the tool tables. Grab some food. Star fuck the speakers. Manipulate the new people into buying Major
8pm – More rhythmic clapping. Host couple promotes the system, and the major. Then comes recognition. We didn’t actually have any power players and nobody was making rank so that didn’t last long. The room was amazed if we got a star 1000
8:15pm – The wife comes back out. Tears up on stage. Tells us how they were in so much debt. Her marriage was falling apart and she never got to see her kids. She was negative at first but seeing how great her husband was because of the system made her realize how much of a terrible person she was. Not only did system change her life, and make her a better mother but it saved marriage.
9pm – The husband comes on. Everyone wakes up. He tells about how horrible of a person he was. System changed his life. His upline is the greatest man in the world but Orrin is God. He sheds a few man tears and promotes the system some more.
10pm – More rhythmic clapping.
10:05pm – Ticket holder meeting. The husband comes out talks down to the audience, calls everyone losers, misquotes more books, and talks about Orrin.
11pm – Pile everyone into the cars. Stop at some fast food restaurant and talk about how this seminar was so great and we were all going diamond asap
4am – Get home, read the notes from the babysitter and cry myself to sleep because I missed my kids and my husband. Although we spent hours together at seminar we were so busy being ” leaders” that we forgot to be married.